Freaky Friday: Taming My Teddy Bear (Plushie Fetish #1) by Jade K. Scott

As some of you may or may not know, this blog is actually run by two full time contributors. But once upon a time, there were five of us. Unfortunately, life got in the way for some of us (like me) so we had to take a step back from blogging. As it turns out, this summer is pretty free for me so I’m able to sub as needed. Awesome, right?

One of my most favoritetest things we started back when we were setting up the blog was our Freaky Fridays. It’s a judgement free zone where we’re allowed to let our freak flags fly. Now, I am woefully under-prepared but I realized that today is in fact Friday so I really wanted to post something for our Freaky Friday spot. Fortunately, I was able to search the old GRs “don’t judge me” shelf and  come up with this little review. It’s super  short, but decided to share it anyway for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy 😉

Taming My Teddy Bear

Taming My Teddy Bear (Plushie Fetish, #1)

Blurb:

Read the stunning confessional of a woman whose insatiable lust was satisfied only by one thing… her stuffed teddy bear. Erica recounts her experiences with making love to her treasured bear, including the night she let it take her virginity! (If that doesn’t sell you on this story I don’t think much will!)

Review:

I think there’s an unwritten rule somewhere that states you have to be willing to read almost anything to join this very elite crew of readers (The MacHalos).

Take this wonderful piece for instance.

A young girl on the cusp of sexual maturity finds comfort in the plush filled, fur covered arms of her teddy bear. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? (Those sweet, soft teddy bears…those are the ones you have to watch out for)

Who doesn’t appreciate a good, snuggly teddy bear when they are feeling blue? (Erica really, really appreciates it!)

Unless, of course, the comfort comes from strapping on a dildo and having your teddy “take” your virginity thus ruining you for all real, live people. Ruh-roh! I bet most people don’t think of that. (To be fair, people are overrated)

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Ah, those crazy kids. What a love story! I hope they get their happy ever after.

In fact, I think they both just did…

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Just a side note: it was surprisingly easy to find images of women with teddy bears in sexually compromising poses. That in itself is very telling I think. Hmmm…

Anyway, however you choose to spend your Friday, just remember: you do you!

Have a great weekend peeps 🙂

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The Perks of Being My Favorite Female Main Character

Congratulations, main character! We have just been through a novel or series together. There were trials and tribulations. We laughed, we cried, we made friends, we fell in love, we yelled, “oh, hell yeah!” and “oh, hell no!” together. YOU are officially my favorite female character. Okay, okay, ONE of my favorite female characters. How’d you get here?

You’re not a Mary Sue. Yeah, yeah no Mary Sues riding in on their high horses of morality here. A goody-goody you are not. You’re beautifully flawed. You’re human. You’re honest and true to yourself and the characters around you. Nothing just falls in your lap, you work for it, girl! You’re smart, but you know you can’t go it alone and you work with others to make it. You’re sassy and funny and don’t take yourself too seriously (until it’s time to work!). I read your story, and find myself saying, “God, I LOVE her!” or “She’s the BEST”.

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You have a kick-ass crew.  Favored MC, your squad is awesome. Tough, funny, caring, loyal, and loving. You may even have a furry, animal-like familiar/pet! You always give us a chance to learn them and love them as you do. You’re good to them as they are to you. Despite the fact that you know this journey will ultimately end with you, you know when to lead and when to allow others to shine. No secrets kept from each other, no slut-shaming, no martyrdom, just working together and highlighting strengths. You have amazing taste in friends. Can I be one of them?

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You have impeccable taste in love interests. Oh you lucky girl!  Always getting the sexiest, strongest being. Let’s be honest, since fantasy is my favorite genre this could be any kind of being – shapeshifter, fae, dark dweller/demon, angel, magician, alien, god – the list goes on, but no matter what species they are, they’ll likely be at the top of their game. Your best of the best is an alpha (duh! Like anything less could handle you), with a cool name or title like Mad Rogan, Beast Lord, Darkness, The Wanderer, Fae Ruler of (fill in the blank) Court. Maybe, their name or title can’t even be spoken and you have to use Phobe or Ryker, or Brian (okay, maybe not that last one). Now, of course, love doesn’t happen right away, oh no! You make this love interest work for your heart. Insta-love has no place in your world. I mean, just cause that person is strong, good looking, talented, and magical doesn’t mean your love comes easy. You’re a bad-ass! This alpha swoons for YOU. You also don’t do love triangles and this deserves some recognition as well. *Honorable recognition for actually choosing a lover(s).  More than one alpha got your heart? Not a problem for you! You either pick one or take them all. That’s how you do. There’s no containing your love!

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You. Are. A. Badass. Through and through. Got magic? You’ll learn to wield it.  Got strength? You’ll kick a whole lotta butt! You’ll train, you’ll pour blood, sweat, tears, your heart into your magic, your mission, your love, your people, your friends.  You do ALL of this with one foot on the ground and a fabulous (if a bit snarky) sense of humor.

So, once again, congratulations!  Thanks for being so cool, MC.

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(Thanks Jess for guest-blogging again! You’re awesome!)

Related posts:

How a Book Hangover is like a Break-Up

Love Me Some Buddy Reads

 

Top Ten Tuesday – Books I’d Slay a Lion to Get Early

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Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl and the theme today is Books I’d Slay a Lion to Get Early. Here is my list!

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  1. Dark Age, the fifth book in the Red Rising universe releases on September 11, 2018 according to Goodreads. I have read the previous books and love this series!

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2. Darkdawn is the final installment in the Nevernight Chronicle by Jay Kristoff. It is set for release September 4, 2018. I have adored this dark, twisted tale from the start and would definitely slay a lion to get my grabby hands on this baby!

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3. Magic Triumphs is the final book in the Kate Daniels series by the most-awesomest Ilona Andrews. It is going to hit the shelves (and e-readers) on August 28th. KD is one of the best urban fantasies that exists.

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4. I listened to this on audio with the wonderful Steve West narrating, and even with that horrible cliffhanger (grrr cliffhangers), I am looking forward to this one. Release date: October 2, 2018.

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5. The next book in the Curse of the Gods series is released maybe in July 2018. There is no set date yet according to Goodreads, but I adore this series and am going nuts waiting to see what happens next. It also has one of my favorite tropes – reverse harem!

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6. Vengeful (Villians #2) by V.E. Schwab. I lurved the first one, Vicious. Release date: September 25, 2018.

Books that don’t have a cover yet:

7. The Toll (Arc of a Scythe #3) by Neal Shusterman. Release date: 2019 *sadface*

8. Two Kingdoms (The Dark Side #3) by Kristy Cunning. Release date: 2018

9. Iron & Magic (Kate Daniels #9.5) by Ilona Andrews. Hugh’s book! Release date: June 26, 2018

10. Nightchaser (Endeavor #1) by Amanda Bouchet. Release date: January 1, 2019.

Well, that wraps up my list. Are you looking forward to reading any of the the books I mentioned? What books would you slay a lion to get your hands on early?

 

 

 

 

One Year Anniversary: 200 Followers and 2 ARCs Giveaway!

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We have been up and going for one year now and have passed the 200 mark with followers and email subscribers! We think our humble little quirky blog has done pretty darn well. To celebrate, we have a giveaway that starts May 1, 2018 at midnight and runs only two weeks, until 11:59 p.m. Eastern time on the 15th. These are the books we are giving away:

 

Here is the link to enter:

Click Here to Enter! (Rafflecopter)

Disclaimers and Legalese Stuff:

* Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Must be 18 and older and a resident of the United States. The number of eligible entries received determine the odds of winning. The value of the items is $0 USD (ARCs have no monetary value).

* You must log on to the Rafflecopter widget (at link) in order to enter an email address so we can contact you when you win!

* The giveaway starts midnight Eastern time on Tuesday, May 1, 2018 and ends at midnight Eastern time on May 16, 2018 with the winner being announced in a later blog.

** Dust Off Your MacHalo is not responsible for any errors, technical issues, and entry to the sweepstakes waives and releases us from any liability whatsoever. By entering the giveaway, you agree to be bound by the decisions of Dust Off Your MacHalo and these official rules.

Good luck and Happy Reading! ❤

 

 

Freaky Friday – Haunted Dolls

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So, haunted dolls is a thing. They are even sold on ebay. There are articles about the dolls attacking their owners. It has even been covered by The New Yorker.

I was quite surprised how big this is. I first became aware of it when my daughter watched a youtube video of Jessii Vee reacting to ebay ads selling the dolls!

Some of them look like your average normal doll and then some look like this (source):

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You can get that one for $40.50 plus S&H. This one is only $25.00 (source):

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If you are willing to spend some cash, you can get this one for $299.00 (source):

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This $305 raggedy Ann doll currently has 46 bids on ebay. There is a warning that states: WARNING!! PURCHASE AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS DOLL IS TRULY BELIEVED TO BE HAUNTED. IT MAY CAUSE FRIGHTENING EXPERIRENCES (sic), MENTAL INSTABILITY, NIGHT TERRORS, SLEEP PARALYSIS, SIGHTINGS, POLTERGEIST ACTIVITY, HEALTH PROBLEMS, AND OVERALL, TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES. PLEASE BID WITH CARE.

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Okay, I am leaving it at that. I’m starting to spook myself out and am actually getting ringing in my ears and feeling very uneasy writing this! Yikes. Hope I didn’t spook you guys out too much. Do you think dolls can be haunted? Do you believe in the paranormal?

I’ll leave this right here, just in case…

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Whatever Wednesday – Book Haul, Movies, and Pop! Comics

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So, here I am again, with pictures to share of my recent thrift store book haul and some other goodies. I was quite proud of myself! Haha. So, here are the books I found:

I love the Wayward Pines trilogy so was quite happy to pick up physical copies of the first two. Here are some big splurges I made at Target and Barnes & Noble recently. *I will not feel guilty* *I will not feel guilty*

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I recently read The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin and LOVED it, so had to order the second book right away (I got that one from Amazon).

I saw this at B&N and since I love the comic Saga so much, I had to grab this one. ALANA!

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Finally, these are actually DVDs I bought for my daughter, but we are both HUGE Teen Titans fans! (Also, the new Jumanji is actually really good!)

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Okay well, thanks for bearing with me. I have no one really to share in my excitement over stuff like this in real life, so I post it to the internet! Ha. Have a great day – Shelly

 

Freaky Friday – WTF Book Covers 2

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It has been awhile since we did a Freaky Friday blog post. To be honest, it’s hard to outdo some of the ones we have done in the past. At our Goodreads group site, we have a topic where we post funny, awful, glorious, strange, unique, ridiculous book covers. I recently found some and thought I would share.

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Tender Is the Storm is a mail-order bride romance from the early 2000s with a rugged Arizona rancher, set in the 1880s. We think it’s fabulous that for once, it’s the man without clothes on! 😛

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The Hungry Ones was published in 1966. I’m not sure what is going on here because there was no description at Goodreads! Is it the clown or the female who is hungry? I’m just not certain a clown should ever be the romantic lead in a romance. I could be wrong, but that’s what I’m sticking with.

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I’m not quite sure if this is a book cover or just a poster? But, as one of our members noted, it looks like he shoved a can of Pringles down his pants. I like how he is wearing his chain mail like a scarf. Good old Fabio.

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Reckless Desire is a Native American romance with a confusing blurb. The description says that it is Mary who has Indian heritage and the male lead is white. Does he decide to wear a feather by the end to further profess his undying love for her? (Some of these bodice-rippers are certainly not politically correct.) And look at her hair! I’m not quite sure if that is all hair or some dirt the horse is kicking up as it launches into the air! Regardless, I think this one is pretty glorious.

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I don’t think this one needs any commentary: “The finest in adult reading.” I bet (not).

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Here is another that speaks for itself. Heehee

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This one is magnificent (the one with the crab of course). We are even tempted to read this because it just looks so awesome! You can buy yourself a copy of this masterpiece on Amazon for $9,035.00!

I guess we will wrap things up there. Hope you enjoyed this edition of Freaky Friday. Have a great weekend and happy reading!

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Related topic:

Freaky Friday – WTF Book Covers