Freaky Friday – Haunted Dolls

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So, haunted dolls is a thing. They are even sold on ebay. There are articles about the dolls attacking their owners. It has even been covered by The New Yorker.

I was quite surprised how big this is. I first became aware of it when my daughter watched a youtube video of Jessii Vee reacting to ebay ads selling the dolls!

Some of them look like your average normal doll and then some look like this (source):

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You can get that one for $40.50 plus S&H. This one is only $25.00 (source):

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If you are willing to spend some cash, you can get this one for $299.00 (source):

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This $305 raggedy Ann doll currently has 46 bids on ebay. There is a warning that states: WARNING!! PURCHASE AT YOUR OWN RISK. THIS DOLL IS TRULY BELIEVED TO BE HAUNTED. IT MAY CAUSE FRIGHTENING EXPERIRENCES (sic), MENTAL INSTABILITY, NIGHT TERRORS, SLEEP PARALYSIS, SIGHTINGS, POLTERGEIST ACTIVITY, HEALTH PROBLEMS, AND OVERALL, TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES. PLEASE BID WITH CARE.

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Okay, I am leaving it at that. I’m starting to spook myself out and am actually getting ringing in my ears and feeling very uneasy writing this! Yikes. Hope I didn’t spook you guys out too much. Do you think dolls can be haunted? Do you believe in the paranormal?

I’ll leave this right here, just in case…

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Freaky Friday – WTF Book Covers 2

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It has been awhile since we did a Freaky Friday blog post. To be honest, it’s hard to outdo some of the ones we have done in the past. At our Goodreads group site, we have a topic where we post funny, awful, glorious, strange, unique, ridiculous book covers. I recently found some and thought I would share.

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Tender Is the Storm is a mail-order bride romance from the early 2000s with a rugged Arizona rancher, set in the 1880s. We think it’s fabulous that for once, it’s the man without clothes on! šŸ˜›

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The Hungry Ones was published in 1966. I’m not sure what is going on here because there was no description at Goodreads! Is it the clown or the female who is hungry? I’m just not certain a clown should ever be the romantic lead in a romance. I could be wrong, but that’s what I’m sticking with.

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I’m not quite sure if this is a book cover or just a poster? But, as one of our members noted, it looks like he shoved a can of Pringles down his pants. I like how he is wearing his chain mail like a scarf. Good old Fabio.

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Reckless Desire is a Native American romance with a confusing blurb. The description says that it is Mary who has Indian heritage and the male lead is white. Does he decide to wear a feather by the end to further profess his undying love for her? (Some of these bodice-rippers are certainly not politically correct.) And look at her hair! I’m not quite sure if that is all hair or some dirt the horse is kicking up as it launches into the air! Regardless, I think this one is pretty glorious.

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I don’t think this one needs any commentary: “The finest in adult reading.” I bet (not).

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Here is another that speaks for itself. Heehee

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This one is magnificent (the one with the crab of course). We are even tempted to read this because it just looks so awesome! You can buy yourself a copy of this masterpiece on Amazon forĀ $9,035.00!

I guess we will wrap things up there. Hope you enjoyed this edition of Freaky Friday. Have a great weekend and happy reading!

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Related topic:

Freaky Friday ā€“ WTF Book Covers

Freaky Friday: Holiday “Niche” Erotica

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Last week, I posted Freaky Friday: Old St. Nickā€™s Gender Swap Trick, so I thought we would keep going with more holiday erotica since it is so close to Christmas. I have actually read all of these – FOR SCIENCE. You might notice a lot of Krampus titles, but that is because Krampus is awesome. I actually think there should be more holiday erotica written – the kind with Santa and elves and snowmen, etc. It kind of fits in there with the monster/living objects stuff. I bet some of you don’t even know what living object erotica is, do you? Newbs! LOL.

Here are some titles I thought I would share. They are all found at Amazon in the Kindle store.

My favorites are Ravaged by the Gingerbread Man andanything by Chuck Tingle. The Captured by Krampus one is worth a shot because his tongue reminded me of a tentacle and you can never have too much tentacles!

Some of the author names are funny alone, like Hauten Whett, Edmund Quimlove.

So, if you’re feeling adventurous and willing to do some SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH, check one out. Remember, no one can see the cover if it’s on your Kindle!

Okay, so that wraps it up for now. Until next time, stay freaky.

 

Freaky Friday: Old St. Nick’s Gender Swap Trick

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So around this time last year, I was reading a Christmas erotica called Old St. Nick’s Gender Swap Trick (Gender Swap Feminization Menage Santa Claus Krampus Christmas Festive Holiday Erotica). Wow, that is some title, huh? I like to read this silly stuff every once in awhile, and since it’s that time of year, I thought I would share part of my review. I won’t include it in its entirety here, but if you’d like to read the full review, it’s at Goodreads.

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So in this one, we have Santa who is preparing for Christmas, when he receives some homemade cookies from, who else, Krampus. Silly Santa shoves one in his piehole before his elf advisors can tell him that is probably not a good idea, and what happens?

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Santa turns into a sexy female! A sexy, horny female. It’s time for a jolly old gangbang!

This story had a good dose of the funneh, which is important to me when we’re dealing with over the top ridiculous porn/smut. There were LOTS of fluids. No hole is safe.

Miraculously, the tiny elves have huge peens.

“Nine inches long and nearly as girthy as a canned Christmas ham”

The “elf chowder” (bonus for coming up with that one) tasted like liquid candy cane, which is always a nice touch to add in Christmas porn.

Exclamations that should be used more often:

“Jingle Bells!” and “Sweet Baby Rudolph!”

The only downside is that even though Santa was kind of “tricked” into eating the cookies and becoming a woman, he was still married and therefore cheated on Mrs. Claus. According to this short story, their marriage was ruined because Mrs. Claus had surveillance set up previously in the room where the sex went down.

They ended up selling the sex tape as Holly Jolly XXXmas and it became the top-selling porn of all time.

I mean, I thought it was funny.

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Well, that’s it for this time. Stay Freaky and have a happy Christmas and merry New Year and all that.

We’ll be doing some yearly wrap ups soon and blog about our favorite books and movies, etc. Hard to believe 2017 is almost over! It flew by!

Laters!

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Top Ten Tuesday: Unique Creepy Book Titles

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Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish.Ā This weekā€™s top ten is about unique book titles. Since Halloween is coming up, I picked unique titles that are scary or creepy sounding. Just because I selected these does not mean that they are good books nor do I recommend them. Although the titles may sound like horror, most are not. This is all about the titles only.

The Haunted VaginaĀ by Carlton Mellick III

This Book is Full of SpidersĀ by David Wong

Down Among the Sticks and BonesĀ by Seanan McGuire

How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill YouĀ by Matthew Inman

A Monster CallsĀ by Patrick Ness

The Forest of Hands and TeethĀ by Carrie Ryan

The Sweet Scent of BloodĀ by Suzanne McLeod

When You Are Engulfed in FlamesĀ by David Sedaris

Fifteen Days Without a HeadĀ by Dave Cousins

Where Good Girls Go to DieĀ by Holly Renee

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Halloween Scary Movies – Cult Classic Style!

The wonderfully awesome Abby recently posted a blog called Top 10 Tuesday: Halloween Movies for the Faint of Heart. So I decided I just had to post my own version, but cult classic style. These movies are at times gross, cheesy, maybe a little scary still, and 100% classics! They are not literally Halloween movies, but a fun list to watch during this month and any other if you can stomach watching horror movies that might not have aged so well (and some that have). Some are more obscure than others. But all, in my view, are worthy to land a spot on any Best Of list like mine.

10. Parents

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This is a quirky horror film that slices up a chunk of meat long pig style. I haven’t watched it in ages, but remember it being creepy and gross, yet wildly entertaining. It’s out there and very over the top.

9. Motel Hell

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Here is another movie I haven’t watched in forever, but this movie seriously creeped me out. That garden scene, though. Another gross, over the top cult classic. You should watch it if you haven’t already. These two are real pieces of shit work.

8. Children of the Corn

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One look at that face still gives me nightmares. I remember being so freaked out by this movie. Truly scary. “Outlander!”

7. Nightmare on Elm St.

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I remember being so scared of this movie when I was younger that I was afraid to go to the bathroom by myself. Now, it seems campy, but at the time, this was Grade-A, top shelf horror, folks! lol. Remember Johnny Depp’s role when he gets sucked through the bed?

6. Hellraiser

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Another seriously scary movie for me. Pinhead was so creepy. Even though it was scary, there was something really unique and mesmerizing about it, in my view.

5. Nightbreed

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Another Clive Barker movie that I loved. Again, it was creative and weird and strangely compelling. For a horror movie. I highly recommend this one.

4. Scream

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This movie sort of changed everything. It was a mashup of all the horror tropes and starred like every single “hot” actor/actress of the moment. The story was good, it was funny, tongue in cheek, and just checked all the boxes.

3. Evil Dead 2

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One of the best. I kind of pretend the first movie never happened because this one was so good. (Although the first one terrified me as a teen.) Bruce Campbell just owns this like a boss. I love him. Making chainsaw hands look like they could be a cool accessory for any time of the year.

2. Fright Night

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This movie was a huge influence in my life and I even mentioned it in a previous blog, For the Love of Vampires! Chris Sarandon was so swoon-worthy as bad guy vampire, Jerry Dandridge. He was one of my first hardcore teen crushes. I mean, you can’t see it here from the gif, but I thought he was attractive, anyway. LOL

1. Lost Boys

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This was the first rated-R movie I saw in the theater. It changed my life. I crushed hardcore on every single actor in the movie! Kiefer Sutherland as villainous David, Jason Patric as Michael and even Corey Haim, the younger brother who has toĀ  enlist Corey Feldman to help save his big brother. It’s just one of my all-time favorites and even had a good soundtrack!

Honorable mentions: Near Dark (another vampire movie, are you surprised), Maximum Overdrive, Event Horizon, and They Live.

Okay, that is my list. I noticed most of these are from the 80s, and that was when music and film really started to influence me (yes, I’m old). So I guess it makes sense that my choices would be from that time period. Have you seen any of these? Which are your favorites? Which would you like to see?

Until next time!

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Freaky Friday: Creamed by the Cave Monsters (4 stars!)

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For this edition of Freaky Friday, we bring you an oldie, but goodie review from Goodreads. The short story is a weird, horror erotica piece that I liked, but not many other people seemed to. What else is new?

The Review:

Ok, 4 stars, I know I know. What is going on? But this was actually hilarious! Yeah, it’s smutty sex with cave creatures that look a little like this (only maybe not as mean):

But it actually has a plot and turns into a sort of weird horror story. Think “Twilight: Breaking Dawn” pregnancy scene only Edward is not there to cut the baby out with his teeth.

I can’t help it. This had tons of innuendo and funny and I never see these types of things go into a bizarre plot twist like this. It totally worked for me! HAHA

Recap: Some chick (her name isn’t important) goes spelunking by herself (of course) for college. She gets stuck in a dark cave and suddenly some creatures start banging her. She escapes the cave after they have had their way with her and kick her out (seriously, they kicked the biotch out and didn’t even help clean her up or anything). She goes back to college and SPOILER ALERT!

…ends up being pregnant with cave monster spawn, gives a presentation, and the baby comes clawing out of her womb. She lives. The End.

Brilliant! BAHAHA. Ok, maybe not brilliant. But a fun read. It’s very short and was free. I heard about it from Kelly and Dan, who were buddy reading it. So the MacHalo group, since we love stuff like this, decided to read it too.

End review.

My fellow bloggers Sam and Abby were not impressed. What can I say? I like the weird.

Until next time, stay freaky.

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